Tuesday, July 15, 2008

2 years has passed by tok che

tok che, without noticing it, it has been 2 years that you have left us. u left us in an instant, made us stunned and sometimes i can't believe it either. i still remember all the advise that you have given me, you always said that to help others if it is in our means, to be cheerful and also to enjoy life. you always said that you wanna see me to get married, and i promise u grandpa, that i will have a good partner in life. this is a promise from me to you and also it is for keeps. you always tell to people about my achievements and i am sure that you are proud of it. to be ur beloved grandchild, u never failed to put me in the agenda when meeting people if i am around.

sometimes, when i feel lonely, the memories of you comes rushing back to me and it brings tears to my eyes. am not shame of saying it. you tried to be the best grandpa for me and what i can say is that, u r the best grandpa that any grandchild could wish for. i miss your stories and jokes that you told me. it never bores me to listen to it. i remember that you have ur own scripts saying of who u r and what was ur history in life. at first i didn't get it, but when u r not here, then i only realised that you are just saying to us to appreciate of what we have achieved and learn from it to excel to the future. ur japanese old time story when u were young, it does brings a smile to me and also a lesson to me. the advise that u have given me, i do appreciate it and will remind myself of it.

u have always entertained our hearts and also try ur best to make us happy. playing ur type of songs and also the shows on the tele or video to make sure that we won't forget our roots of our ancestors. it is true that when i miss u, i pray for u and also playback all the things that u have played for us when u were here. it does brings memories back to me and also the good old times when we were having the grandpa and grandchild talk. u will give me pocket money when i'm in uni or going back there just to make sure that i have sufficient.

a month before u were gone, u said that it is already enough for u to see me that i have achieved my graduation, i didn't get it at first. till when u have gone, all the mysterious saying to us, does made sense that u could not be with me for my future achievements. what hit me the most is that, u always talk to me on how u wanted to come to my convocation, but i believe that the great one loves u more. u left us 5 weeks before the ceremony and i was having tears in the hall of the graduation. i am now working, and trying my best to make u proud and am sure that u will. niqi is now in uni and the two sisters are practicing their piano skills just like u want them to be. u always said that it is good skills if the two sisters were to have them. looking at the piano at home, i remember mum said that u turned around while driving when u saw the piano truck came to the house and waited eagerly to see the piano.

2 years have gone by, without realising it many things have changed. but one thing haven't changed and that is we all miss u a lot. having kenduris, weddings, birthdays will never be the same without u. u will arrange the gatherings, call up the relatives and also prepare the events for us. now, we still have the events, but we always talk about u and we could never do the same as what u would have done. we then would keep silence and think back of the things that u have done. ur voice and face, are still fresh in my mind.

15th July 2008, when seeing u in the ICU at Ampang Puteri, i couldn't believe my eyes of what i saw. Seeing u lying on the bed helplessly and on machine support. a few hours before, u were walking into my car and were talking to me. if i knew that it is gonna be like this, i would have spend a bit more time with u. but then i guess time doesn't permit us and u have left us without saying ur goodbyes.when u left that 16th July, Sunday morning, i knew that someone who i dearly loved and who has influence me of the person i am today, has left me for good and am surely gonna miss that person. bringing u down to ur final resting place, i let u go with my heart and soul feeling heavy to leave u there.

when am all alone sometimes or doing my responsibilities, the memories of u will come ones in a while and that missing feeling of u will come by. the tears in my eyes will drop down my cheeks and i will have to swallow the feeling hard. looking at the picture of u at granny's home, give me the stare of just looking at u and sometimes it brings smile and also the smear to my face.

am having tears as am writing this to u, but am not ashame of saying it to the people. of what i can say is, Haji Mohd Nasir Bidin, i am proud of having u to be my grandfather and i thank you for all the advise and the memories that u have given me. i will pray for u always, and hope that u will be among the people that is love by the great one.

will love and miss u always,

ur beloved grandson,

Muhammad Fahmi Rosli









thanks for the memories grandpa and god bless


tok che
Songs that tok che listens when i'm around

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